The Gospel According to Once Upon a Time
#2 – Ugly Is in the Eye of the Beholder
Romans 12:2 and 1 John 3:2-3
By John Gill ~ July 14, 2024
A small boy found his way to the lingerie section of the department store. Shyly, he spoke to the clerk, “I want to buy a slip as a present for my mother, but I don't know what size she wears.” “Is she tall or short, fat or skinny?” asked the clerk. “Oh, she's beautiful!” beamed the little boy. So, she wrapped up a size 34 for him. Two days later, mom came to the store herself and exchanged the slip for a size 52!
I guess what they say is true- “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” But, I'm convinced that the opposite is also true: “Ugly is also in the eye of the beholder.”
This is the second week of a sermon series I'm calling, “The Gospel According to Once Upon a Time...” - stories from our childhood that in their own simple but profound way teach us biblical and eternal truths - a series inspired by my becoming a grandfather! Last Sunday, we considered the wisdom of “The Three Little Pigs." This morning, the story I'd like for us to focus on is the tale of “The Ugly Duckling.”
I don't know if you recall the details of this wonderful little story, but it goes something like this: “Once there was a mother duck who was sitting on her eggs. Now, somehow one egg that was much larger than the rest had found its way into the nest. The mother thought it was a little odd, but continued to sit on it. Finally, the eggs began to hatch and out came cute little yellow ducklings. The big strange egg took longer, but it, too, finally hatched... and out of it came the strangest looking duckling anyone in the barnyard had ever seen. It was large and gangly, not yellow, but gray. And all the animals began to whisper about this “ugly duckling.”
Well, to make a long story short, the poor odd-looking duckling was ridiculed by his siblings and became the butt of jokes. At first, his mother tried to defend him, but in the end, she too could barely stand the sight of him. Finally, he left his duck family and set out on his own.
The poor discouraged “ugly duckling” was shunned and picked on wherever he went. Time passed... summer, fall, winter. And by the time spring had come again, the ugly duckling was wishing he could just lie down and die.
Just about that time, he came upon a tranquil pond, and there, gliding across the water, where the most beautiful birds he had ever seen! They were snow white and had long graceful necks. He came closer for a better look, and when he did, he slipped off the bank into the water. He was sure that the beautiful birds would chase him off, just as all the other animals had, but to his amazement, they swam right up to him and bowed their graceful necks in greeting. Not willing to be rude, the “ugly duckling” bowed his head, and when he did, he saw his own reflection in the water... He looked just like those beautiful birds! He wasn't an “ugly duckling” at all... He was a beautiful swan!
You know, I selected this story for this morning some time ago. Mother’s Day was just around the corner, so Motherhood was on my mind. I thought this story was ideal for this series, as all children love their mothers. But as I worked on this sermon, I became aware that I was remembering a version of this story I knew growing up that had a much more caring and sympathetic mother duck. However, when I began to
research this story, all I could find were versions like the one I just told you - that, let's just say, don't cast the mother in a very positive light. This mother duck is not exactly what I would call a good role model for motherhood.
I almost discarded this story, until I heard a human-interest piece about motherhood on the Evening News as Mother's Day was approaching. It occurred to me that there was a lesson to be learned in the contrast of these two stories.
The story I heard on the news was this: it seems that a family in Kentucky discovered a newborn squirrel that had fallen out of a tree. Knowing that a mother squirrel would have quickly retrieved her baby, they assumed that the baby had been orphaned. So, they took the squirrel into their house and began to nurse it.
I guess taking care of a newborn squirrel is a lot like taking care of a human baby... They had to feed it at all hours of the day and night, and pretty soon the routine began to get old. About that time, their dog gave birth to a litter of puppies, and they had a crazy idea! Wouldn't it be great if the baby squirrel could become a part of the litter! But, would a baby squirrel be accepted by a mother dog?
Well, they took the baby's squirrel and rubbed it with the mother dog's bodily fluids and placed it in the middle of the puppies. The mother dog noticed the “ugly duckling,” of course. But when she sniffed it, she immediately accepted it as one of her own. And there on the Evening News we saw the unlikely sight of a squirrel suckling from a mother dog, and romping and playing with his adopted brothers and sisters!1
What a contrast! Two mothers in the same situation... But such opposite responses. And what a difference it made in the lives of the babies in their care!
The lesson is clear from these stories. We parents and grandparents must be very careful what we say to our children and grandchildren, and how we perceive them; because, what we believe about them, they will begin to believe about themselves.
In 2011, the movie, “The Help” was released. Based on the novel by the same title, it was the story of the struggles of black domestic help in 1960’s Mississippi. Aibileen Clark was the maid for the Mobley family. As a part of her responsibilities, Aibileen looked after their little girl, Mae. The Mobleys were not ideal parents, and neglected and ridiculed their little daughter. In one of the most touching scenes, Aibileen puts little Mae on her lap, looks her in the eye, and says over and over again, lest Mae forget: “You is kind, you is smart, you is important.” As it turns out, the words Aibileen spoke to Mae, she later had to say to herself: No matter what the world says about you, remember, “You is kind, you is smart, you is important.” No matter how old we are, there are moments each of us need to repeat that mantra, and believe it!2
Perhaps you've heard the poem:
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.3
The question for those of us who are parents or grandparents to ask ourselves is this: how do we view the children in our lives? What do we expect of them? How do we send the message to them that they are “ugly ducklings” - or that they are unconditionally accepted and loved?
Are we like that mother duck or that mother dog?
That is a challenging enough message for us this morning. But I believe there is an even deeper spiritual issue in these stories: one that cuts to the very heart of the gospel - and that is this: Do we look at ourselves as being what the world tells us we are? Or, do we see ourselves as being what God tells us we are?
Like that ugly duckling, the world tells us we are ugly, undesirable, unlovable, unacceptable, and worthless. But, God's word tells us the opposite: that we are beautiful, desired, beloved, excepted, and priceless!
Don't believe me? Hear what David wrote in Psalm 8: “When I look at thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars which thou hast established; What is man that thou art mindful of him, and the son of man that thou dost care for him? Yea, thou hast made him little less than God, and crowned him with glory and honor.”
Or Peter: “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's own people... Once you were no people but now you are God's people.”
Or Jesus: “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten in God's sight. But even the hairs of your head are all counted. Do not be afraid, you are of more value than many sparrows.”
Or Paul: “But God proves his love for us, in that while we still we're sinners Christ died for us.”
Yes, the world says we are ugly ducklings, but God tells us we are beautiful swans!
No one was better at looking at ugly ducklings and seeing beautiful swans than Jesus. The gospels are full of stories where Jesus comes upon someone who has been despised and outcast by the world, only to love them unconditionally, and watch them blossom into men and women of God: He met a woman of questionable reputation at a well and turned her into an evangelist; He befriended a dishonest tax collector named Zacchaeus and turned him into a disciple; He loved a woman named Mary Magdalene, suspected of being a prostitute, and made her righteous enough to anoint his feet with costly ointment and trusted her to be the very first person he spoke to after his resurrection in the garden; He loved a wishy washy hot headed follower named Peter and transformed him into the rock on which Christ would build his church. Ugly ducklings, every one. Ugly in the eyes of the world. But not in the eyes of Jesus!
The ugly duckling only thought of himself as ugly because that is the image the world reflected onto him. There are a lot of people walking around today, who have been told by the world that they are ugly ducklings... Maybe even some of you. But the good news of Jesus Christ is that no one is ugly in God's sight. When he looks at you, he doesn't see what you are, he sees what you can become! And when we begin to see ourselves as God sees us, we will begin to be transformed into that image.
John in his first epistle put it this way: “Beloved, we are God's children now; what we shall be has not yet been revealed. What we do know is this: when he is revealed, we will be like him.”
Paul writes in Romans: “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God- what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
In other words, it is in changing the way we think... the way we see ourselves... that we begin to be transformed into the likeness of our Creator. Those who came across Jesus’ path saw, reflected in Jesus eyes, their own personal potential, and they were never the same again!
Friends, when you look at your reflection, what do you see? Do you see an ugly duckling, or do you see a beautiful swan?
Take heart. God sees you, not as you are, but as you can become. Rejoice in that - claim it - and let him begin the process of transforming you into the beautiful swan you are!
2024 by John B. Gill, III
1 https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/mama-dog-nurses-orphaned-baby-squirrel-flna1C9437496
2 https://medium.com/@subinbaek/the-help-2011-you-is-kind-you-is-smart-you-is-important-5c04de42d28d
3 https://powerpoetry.org/poems/if-child
Footnote:
1 Under the fair use doctrine of the U.S. copyright statute, it is permissible to use limited portions of a work including quotes, for purposes such as commentary, criticism, news reporting, and scholarly reports. There are no legal rules permitting the use of a specific number of words, a certain number of musical notes, or percentage of a work. Whether a particular use qualifies as fair use depends on all the circumstances. See, Fair Use Index, and Circular 21, Reproductions of Copyrighted Works by Educators and Librarians. https://www.copyright.gov/help/faq/faq-fairuse.html